But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." [1Sa 16:7 ESV]
The Lord looks at our inner appearance, not our outer appearance. Does God really care if you gain 5/10/30 pounds? No. Now, He does care if those pounds came about when you were stressed and anxious and went to the gallon of ice cream and three packs of candy instead of coming to Him for comfort and rest. He cares about that just as much as if you try to seek control in your life through exercise or to ease your discomfort through binge watching Hallmark movies instead of seeking Him. (Don’t lie; we’ve all done it.) It’s the reason we do something—the heart behind what we are doing—that God looks at. When you are anxious, is your first thought to go to God in prayer or do you seek another action for comfort? “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” [Phl 4:6-7 ESV] When we come to Him in prayer for our worries, He will give us peace and guard our hearts and minds.
When you reflect on other women, do you find yourself commenting on the clothes they wear and the weight they’ve gained or loss more than their heart, character, or what God is doing in their lives? It’s a struggle in our flesh not to look at the outward appearance of man and judge him on that, but praise God He looks at a man’s heart and not on the outward appearance. The Pharisees and scribes had the best outward appearance known at the time of Christ, both by eye and action, yet He called them whitewashed tombs. Beautiful by the human eye, yet dead and lifeless in the inner heart where God looks. "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness.” [Mat 23:27 ESV] These were religious men with no heart for God. He cares about our heart.
Peter tells us that our adorning, or things we put on to make us more attractive and beautiful, should be the hidden person of the heart. “Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” [1Peter 3:3-4 ESV] This beauty is imperishable. It will endure forever. No matter how hard you try, your outward beauty and size are going to perish much sooner than your time here on earth does. Wouldn’t it be great if people saw your godly character and heart first, even when you’re dressed in your finest apparel?
Paul wrote to Timothy that he wanted women to dress modestly, and that their attractiveness would come from the good things they do. “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.” [1Ti 2:9-10 NLT] Now we don’t see these commands to men, because men don’t care what they wear, right? If most wives didn’t help their husbands dress or buy clothes, we’d have brown belts with black shoes and green socks everywhere. You don’t see fashion commentators talking much about what the men wore to the Academy Awards, it’s all about the women. We have a beautiful form, created for us by God, but be careful not to use this blessing for evil. Our beauty should come from a gentle, quiet spirit which is very precious in God’s sight. Our attractiveness should be found in the good things God has called us to do—the list He has created for your Proverbs 31 woman.
As I get older this truth is such a comfort to me. God cares about my heart and not the size of my hips. Since I know the hips are going to increase, I pray my heart grows more in the Lord than they ever could.
Reflection Questions:
- Do you find your self-worth more in the size of your jeans or the spiritual nature of your heart?
- When you are anxious, where does your comfort come from?
Do you find yourself commenting more on other people’s appearance than their character?
How can we help each other in focusing not on the outward appearance, but the heart?
Reflection Song:
